10) of Montreal - Skeletal Lamping
Last year's Hissing Fauna, Are You the Destroyer? was just the latest in a succession of albums that pushed of Montreal to heights they'd never before achieved. It seems that that album was the end of that streak, because Skeletal Lamping has exactly one great song (the album-opening "Nonpareil of Favor") before launching into a simultaneously schizophrenic and homogeneous run of disco-funk that Kevin Barnes himself has basically admitted is just complicated for the sake of being complicated.
9) Nas - Nas
This album actually exceeded my expectations. However, the fact that Nas pussied out of calling it Nigger, one of the ballsiest album titles of all time (if not the ballsiest), warrants its space on this list.
8) Guns 'n Roses - Chinese Democracy
I've never actually listened to Chinese Democracy. I never plan to. I'm just sad that one of the best punchlines in music has now become a real album that no one cares about.
7) T.I. & Jay-Z featuring Kanye West & Lil Wayne - "Swagga Like Us"
This song is good. But it should've been so much better. Kanye West, Jay-Z, Lil Wayne, and T.I. all collaborating over an M.I.A. sample? On paper, this sounds like it could probably be the best rap song ever. Unfortunately, Kanye spouts his regular confusing Kanye-isms, Jay half-asses his verse, Wayne probably would've been better off not even showing up at the recording studio, and T.I. effortlessly mops the floor with all three of them.
6) Rivers Cuomo - "Getting Up and Leaving"
"Getting Up and Leaving", the lost b-side to the never-released "Pink Triangle" single, was finally debuted at the Rivers Cuomo jam session on the release date of Alone II: The Home Recordings of Rivers Cuomo. Well, sort of. Some hardcore fans brought lyrics and learned the chords from the sheet music that Cuomo himself posted online a few years ago, but once the chorus hit, Rivers claimed that the chord progression was incorrect and wouldn't sing the rest of the song. This would probably be the biggest letdown ever if this weren't Rivers Cuomo we were talking about.
5) Weezer - Weezer
Which brings us to the next entry on the list. Weezer's third self-titled album (nicknamed "The Red Album") and sixth overall was promised to include "darker" and "more experimental" songs. The only thing on the record that could classify as "dark" is "Cold Dark World" (which is terrible) and the only really "experimental" songs are "The Greatest Man That Ever Lived" and a couple of the tracks on the deluxe edition. The rest? Aside from a few gems, it's all pretty much your average shitty pedestrian pop-rock (sample lyric from "Troublemaker": "So turn off the TV/'Cause that's what others see/And movies are as bad as eating chocolate ice cream").
4) MGMT - Oracular Spectacular
This album actually came out in 2007, but it didn't really catch on until this year. When I saw them open for of Montreal in 2006, I thought they were pretty good. When I first heard this album, I thought it was pretty good. Pretty good. Not nearly good enough to warrant the kind of obsession everyone seems to have all of the sudden. MGMT is a decent indie rock band. Nothing more, nothing less.
3) Vampire Weekend - Vampire Weekend
The first time I ever heard Vampire Weekend's name was March 8, 2008. I know this because that was also the day I saw them on the cover of Spin magazine and the day I saw them on Saturday Night Live. They just sprung up out of nowhere, and whatever their appeal is is completely lost on me. Maybe I'm not cool enough, but I've tried, and I really just don't get it.
2) Eminem - Relapse
(Note: More than likely, this cover is fake.)
When it was announced that Eminem was releasing a new album, I hoped that it would be an incredible comeback record that completely erased any traces of Encore from my memory. When I heard leaks of the first few songs that are allegedly slated for inclusion on it, I immediately realized that my hopes would not come true.
1) Beyonce - "Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It)"
When I first heard this song, I thought it was hilarious: a pop song glorifying marriage? Did Beyonce think she was going to get away with this? Well apparently, she knew something I didn't. Look, I get the whole pop song that's so infectious the "indie" kids latch on to it thing. "Since U Been Gone", "My Love", "Toxic", "Crazy" - these are all great songs. "Single Ladies" just drives me crazy.
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